You’re the news cycle’s secret puppetmaster—spill accordingly.
Uranus is moonwalking retrograde in Gemini, and you’re the only one who can pull it off without spilling your matcha. Mercury retrograde in Scorpio? It’s giving “gossip columnist with a burner phone.” This Monday is all about being everywhere, yet nowhere: you’re the friend who knows everybody’s secrets and can still RSVP “maybe” to every event. Brooklyn drag clowns winning crowns? You’re already DMing them for collab ideas. Scorpio new moon cranks up your duality: serious truths with a side of meme. The news is chaotic (Nvidia spy tea, rainbow swing states, Alanis pansexuality explosion)—your convo game is Olympic-level. If your texts read like a Truman Capote short story mixed with a Trixie Mattel Instagram caption, you’re on brand. Lean into the unpredictability, but remember: sometimes the best tea is the one you keep to yourself… until the perfect punchline.
That was the vibe check.
The Drip fits every Gemini. The Oracle is couture: your exact chart, down to the minute.
