Sagittarius ♐︎

Ever wondered what would happen if Odysseus hosted The Traitors? That’s your Friday. Mars in Gemini triggers your “let’s stir the pot and see who confesses” vibe, while Jupiter and the Sun are staging a “truth or dare” moment for your whole chart. The news? Trump declaring a peace plan is giving you flashbacks to every group text plan that went nowhere fast. You see through the performative optimism and you’re ready to call out the plot holes, Sagittarius. Lunar energy is wild: the Moon’s North Node mashup wants you to drop a hot take that makes even your ghosted Tinder matches sweat. Saturn retrograde says “check your facts,” but your brand is “why not challenge the trivia host anyway?” Take the scenic route, but bring a fire extinguisher for all those bridges you’ll burn (in theory). Life’s an ancient epic, but today, you’re adding the snarky footnotes. Screenshot: “Diplomacy? I prefer open bars and open tabs.”