Aries ♈︎

Picture this: Mercury and Mars are plotting in Scorpio like the “Hunting Wives” in a deleted SNL sketch—just with more eyeliner and fewer gun racks. You’re not just in the group chat, Aries, you ARE the group chat. Sunday’s waning gibbous Moon in Cancer is giving “Sunday scary, but make it HBO drama”—all your feels are close to the surface and everyone’s one wrong emoji from a monologue. Meanwhile, the government shutdown drama has you ready to unionize your family group text; you’d filibuster brunch if it meant getting the last mimosa. Sun square Jupiter is the cosmic version of “I can fix him, ” but babe, not everyone wants to be fixed—sometimes the vibe is just existential. Diane Keaton’s passing? Your inner queer icon is mourning in turtlenecks, clutching a bag of gluten-free sadness. Let yourself feel it all; those messy tears are as valid as an Oscar speech. “You’re not dramatic—you’re main character energy with receipts.”