Aries ♈︎

Friday’s giving “season finale cliffhanger” with Sun at 29° Scorpio serving “I’m not here to make friends”—and honey, the cosmos agrees. Mercury retro rolling in Scorpio means everyone around you is suddenly a bad improviser in a Real Housewives reunion: nobody knows their lines, but they’re ready to throw wine. The Moon-Mars duo in Sagittarius? That’s you speed-texting the group chat about the FBI firing someone for displaying a Pride flag—“Lavender Scare” reboot, but make it less chic. When the Coast Guard calls hate symbols mere “political divisiveness, ” you realize: reality is officially camp, and not the fun kind. Take up cosmic space: you’re the antihero in this episode, but you’ve got glitter in your wounds. Uranus throwing shade at the Sun means disruptions will be ridiculously on-brand—expect a plot twist by brunch. Don’t just survive the absurdity; rewrite the script. The world’s upside down, but you still know how to fight for your chosen family (and your brunch reservation).