Aries ♈︎

Did you wake up ready to storm a boardroom, a red carpet, or possibly a government building? That’s the Monday mood, babe, courtesy of Sun, Mars, and Venus all cosplaying Capricorn power suits. This trio is giving “Golden Globes afterparty crashed by Real Housewives” energy: cutthroat, glamorous, and a little bit unhinged. But wait, Jupiter in retrograde is in Cancer across the zodiac like your ex texting “u up?” at 3am—don’t let old drama call the shots. Today’s waning crescent Scorpio Moon? Imagine the world as a group chat in full lockdown mode—everyone’s lurking, receipts are being screenshotted, and nobody’s really saying what they mean. The news is messier than a Drag Race Untucked brawl: federal agents in Minneapolis, awards show politics, and more plot twists than a TikTok “storytime.” Your role: channel charisma, but check your ego. The cosmic lesson? Don’t let the world’s drama distract you from your own revolution. Screenshot yourself rising above—somebody has to.