Jupiter’s retrograde: Chaos is your coping mechanism.
Jupiter is retrograde and if that doesn’t scream “gap year gone rogue, ” I don’t know what does. The Sun, Venus, and Mars in Capricorn are trying to hold a TED Talk about “maturity, ” but you’re whispering spoilers during the Q&A. “Tell Me Lies” just dropped a surprise episode and you, Sag, are living for the chaos—why not DM your ex just for the plot? The Scorpio Moon is that unskippable scene where the hero stares at their reflection, plotting revenge or redemption (your vibe: yes). The world is calling for empathy, but you’d rather call an Uber to the afterparty. Real tea: growth is letting yourself grieve and giggle. “Justice is a journey, and sometimes the path is a drunk text.”
That was the vibe check.
The Drip fits every Sagittarius. The Oracle is couture: your exact chart, down to the minute.
