Sagittarius ♐︎

You want the real wedding tea? Jupiter in Leo is busy issuing press releases about love, while Pluto retro in Aquarius is leaking the guest list to TMZ. This Saturday is ancient Greek tragedy meets “Selling Sunset”: everybody’s dramatic and someone’s dress is on fire. The moon phase says, “if you’re going to cancel, at least make it epic.” Your wanderlust right now is more philosopher-on-the-run than influencer-in-Tulum. The housing bill saga reminds you: sometimes it’s better to break the law (of expectations) than obey a boring script. You’ll spot the Meta AI flop and immediately pitch your real-life adventure as “content,” but the joke’s on the algorithm: you’re already uncategorizable. Use that waning crescent energy to send a “u up?” to someone you actually want to see at dawn.